Falling out with a friend can be upsetting, but doesn’t have to be the end of your friendship.
It’s a fact of life that people (of all ages and in all walks of life) fall out! Sometimes you make up, sometimes you don’t. Friends can come and go out of our lives. This is your chance to work out how you will cope with what can be a really upsetting situation.
It helps to talk to someone if you’re feeling down. Don’t feel bad about yourself, concentrate on things you enjoy, and don’t bottle things up.
Falling out with a friend
People of all ages fall out for a number of reasons. Most people will make up, but some might not. If you value the friendship then it is worth trying to make up with the person.
When the argument or conflict has settled down, try talking to them and figuring out why you are both annoyed with each other.
Compromising with each other is key to making up. You might have said some nasty things to each other and are both at fault, but if you both value your friendship you will be able to get over this to move on.
How Can I Fix It?
There’s no magic cure for arguments between friends, but there are a bunch of things you can try:
Try and imagine it from the other side
When we argue, we’re usually blinded by our own view of things. How would you feel if the situation were reversed? Would you see things the same way as you do now?
Find a peacemaker
Ask someone who is friends with the both of you or an adult who wasn’t involved to help get you talking. Don’t expect them to take sides though – it won’t help and isn’t fair on them.
Listen
Pay careful attention to what they say. It’ll help you understand why they feel the way they do and make them more likely to listen to your point of view. By listening you’ll understand why they have a different viewpoint.
Tell them how you feel
This is really important to helping them understand why you feel the way you do but don’t go back over what you think they did wrong – it might re-start the argument.
Tell them how you feel in a calm and non-aggressive way. Even if you are right they won’t listen to you if they don’t like the way they are being spoken to.
Accept that you might both have been right
Being able to agree to disagree is an important part of being friends in the long term. In any case, what’s more important – ‘winning’ an argument or keeping a mate?