Feeling needy isn't much fun and puts strain on our relationships. Relationships work best when both people are happy and secure about themselves.
Why do I feel needy?
Often, we feel needy because we have low confidence in ourselves. We look to another person for reassurance and to make us feel better.
Why is neediness a problem?
Firstly, feeling needy isn't a pleasant state of mind. It can also be hard to handle for the person on the receiving end of your neediness. It can make us act in off-putting ways and can come along with other negative emotions like jealousy.
Isn't it romantic to 'need you'?
There's a big difference between 'I love you' and 'I need you'. If you think about it, love is a giving emotion, whereas needing is about taking or getting something. It's a lot to expect of another person to keep us feeling happy and secure.
It's true that other people can make you feel bad, but only you can really make yourself feel good about yourself.
How can I feel less needy?
Realising that your feelings of neediness are a problem is the first step. Reading this page means you're probably there already!
Here are some other things you can try:
Concentrate on you, not them
If you feel needy, resist the temptation to reach out for that other person. Instead, work on improving your mood first. Do something you enjoy and that relaxes you. A good choice is to get some physical activity.
Say to yourself: 'I don't need someone else to make me happy'
Sounds simple, but it's true! Saying it out loud really can help you start to believe it.
Work on building confidence
Rather than seeking reassurance from other people, you can work on making yourself feel happier and more secure. Find out how to build confidence.