Feeling Pressured to Have Sex

Sex is not a competition, a race or something we should do to keep other people happy. 

Pressure from your partner

We’ve been going out for a while, surely sex is next?

You may have done other things like kissing and touching, and sex might feel like the next step. However, if you don’t feel ready to take it to that stage you don’t have to. 

What if they dump me if we don’t have sex? 

Threatening to dump you if you don't have sex is emotional intimidation. Having sex won’t make your boyfriend or girlfriend like you more, and would you really want to stay with someone who'd dump you because you won't have sex with them? You need to be sure anyone you have sex with has your best interests at heart and will treat you with respect.

What if we've had sex but I don't want to do it again?

Just because you once had sex with someone doesn't mean you have to do it again, and it doesn't give them the right to pressure you to do anything you don't want to.

Remember: forcing someone to do something sexual they don't want to do is sexual assault. It's your right to say no at any point or to change your mind even after sex has started. Find out more about sex and the law.

Pressure from friends

It's all they talk about!

Sometimes it can feel like that all your friends are talking about is sex – from sharing stories about their own experiences to chatting about other people's sex lives. They might even be asking you about what you’ve done. Remember, you don't have to tell them anything you don't want to. 

They're slagging me off for not having sex...

If you aren’t ready, you aren’t ready – real mates should respect your wishes and want what's best for you.

Everybody's doing it...

Don’t assume that because there's lots of talk about sex among your mates that you're the only one who hasn't done it.

Despite what a lot of people think, the majority (nearly two thirds) of young people wait until they're over 16 before they lose their virginity.

Remember: it’s your body and your choice.


Check out our Consent landing page for more information about sex and boundaries.