We can all feel left out from time to time and Christmas is no exception! Read our tips on what to do if you feel left out this Christmas.
What can I do if I feel left out?
Okay, so your friends have not included you and you’re feeling down. You may feel sad or angry about it but the worst thing you can do in this situation is to feel sorry for yourself.
Even if it has, try not to let it show. Being in a huff won’t get you anywhere. You may have to fake happiness for a while. Think positively and smile lots. Creating a friendly image of yourself will make people want to be your friend!
If you are feeling down pick yourself up and look at what you can do cheer up! Going for a wee run with your favourite tunes on your iPod will make you feel happy. Doing exercise releases endorphins which help make you feel good about yourself.
Alternatively you could go for a relaxing bubble bath or go through a binge-watch of your favourite television series!
Should I read a lot into it?
If you are confused as to why you have been left out, it could all be a massive misunderstanding. Maybe your friends thought you had been too busy to attend a party or they simply forgot about you. Try not to just assume there is a personal agenda against you.
If you are a busy person when you’re not in school, then, the ‘out of sight, out of mind’ rule often comes into play!
Have I done something wrong?
Now you have to think honestly. Have you been left out for a reason? Was there a disagreement or falling out that recently occurred which has led to this situation?
If you are clueless, talk to your friends about why they have left you out. Tell them how you feel and share what is on your mind. If you are doing this be polite, don’t get too personal and stay calm - you don’t want to end up regretting what you have said and making things even worse.
But remember, if you don’t feel you have done anything wrong and someone has an issue with you, it’s the other persons problem not yours!
If you realise there is a reason for why you have been left out, think about how you can rectify the situation. You may have to mend relationships and make up with your pals.
Be proactive with your friends
If you have been excluded from an event, try and be proactive and organise something with your friends. People like it when others take the initiative and it will remind them that you are part of their friend group!
Organise your own Christmas day out with your friends. There are lots of good films out this Christmas for you to see, or you could go out for dinner together. Why not take advantage of your Young Scot card to get 20% off food for up to 4 people at Pizza Hut.
Should I make new friends?
If your friends consistently don’t respond to your invitations to hang out, or you realise that your friends don’t want to involve you, the truth is they may not be real friends.
Before you decide to make new friends there some questions you may want to ask yourself;
- Are my friends using me?
- Are my friends always leaving me out of events?
- Are my friends ‘real’ friends?
- Do my friends have the same interests as me?
If you are consistently feeling left out, you may wish to make new friends. Groups and cliques form in school but it doesn’t mean you should know your place!
Making new friends
If you are feeling left out and want to make new pals, here are five steps to achieving this:
- Talk talk talk. Don’t be afraid to speak to people. If you appear as a friendly person people will want to be around you.
- Body language is important. Being relaxed and approachable will always work in your favour, as will making eye contact and smiling.
- Choose your friends wisely. Pick people who you have things in common with and will be a loyal friend, though remember that loyalty comes with time
- Take an interest in other people. Talking about yourself all the time and trying to always outdo people with a better story will make people think you are self-obsessed and insecure. What’s more, people like it when they take an interest in their lives.
- Be confident in yourself. Don’t be someone you are not, people will see through this really quickly. If you don’t like yourself, don’t expect others to!