Second Chances by Ashley Pannell

Second chances. A lovely thought. A wonderful notion. Suggests ideas of peace and forgiveness, of letting old grudges go and moving on to start anew.

 

It's a truly amazing idea. It is also a lie.

 

Or, at least for me, it is.

 

You see, it is impossible for me to give people just one second chance. I simply cannot do it. The idea of me giving someone one second chance is as silly and as farfetched as the idea of puppies and kittens not being cute.

 

It's as impossible as the idea of forgiving but never forgetting. Because you simply cannot forgive someone unless you forget what they did to hurt you.

 

Forgiveness is about going back to the way things were and how can you do that if you still feel the hurt and pain they caused you? How could you ever look at them with the same eyes if you are bombarded by the memories of what they did?

 

It's simple: you can't. To forgive is to forget.

 

Which brings me back to my original point: I cannot give people just one second chance. I always end up giving them more than just one. I give them so many chances, even when I shouldn't.

 

Especially when I shouldn't.

 

But the thing is, there is always a catch. Yes, I will give you more second chances than you deserve. I'll not give up on you, even after you've hurt me so many times before. I still won't give up on you when you've given up on yourself.

 

But once I'm done, I'm done.

 

I walk away and I don't come back. And it takes a lot for me to walk away.

 

So just know, if I do leave, you brought it on yourself. Because it just means that I've finally learned not to waste anymore time on you.