I found a couple articles about how kids deal with divorce on these websites Children 1st article on divorce and NSPCC article on divorce
I thought I could do my own version -
Separation and divorce can be difficult time for an adult’s life. It will be confusing, they will blame themselves and it is hard for them to adjust to their new life. So, if adults struggle with separation and divorce how do children handle it?
There are children who find it easy when their parents get a divorce. There are children who find it difficult when their parents get divorce. But there are children who are traumatized because their parents got divorced.
When children’s parents get divorced, children start to feel at a loss as the world they know starts to change. They sometimes don’t understand why it is happening to them or what will happen between the child and parents. It doesn’t matter how old children are, when their parents are divorced they may start to feel very overwhelmed.
For children it is very confusing for them when their parents get divorce as they start to argue all the time. They start to wonder how they can make their parents happy again or they will start to blame themselves for making their parents argue. They are also trying to make sense of their feelings as they are all over the place.
For supporting children during the divorce, try and help them with their worries which could be, they are worried that both of their parents don’t love them anymore, and that is why they are fighting. Reassure your child that they are loved from both parents. When talking to your child be honest with them but also be aware of the child’s age so they have an understanding of what you are saying to them. Also when talking to your child don’t blame each other and don’t talk bad things about each other. For your child, make sure that you are doing things that you usually would do, for example making sure that you are taking your child to school but it might be different than it usually is as the parents might not be living together anymore. Let your child know that it is okay to be sad or angry, that it is okay for them to speak to you. When your child decides to talk, listen to what they are telling you as they will start to open up to you more when you answer their questions. Parents should be listening to their child more than rather talking to them.
By Ellie Prouse